Nutty Enough Already

So, today, I was making my way in darkness to work.  It is a long drive, even at 5:30 in the morning.  Usually I gratefully spend this time in my own head, thinking out plotlines or revision ideas.  But today was not one of those days.  Sliding through the darkness, my gaze focused where my headlights struck the bumper in front of me.

I found myself behind a pick-up truck for most of my commute today.  That, in and of itself is not remarkable, as I live far enough west of Chicago to be forced to crawl along the single lane highway behind oversized farm machines from time to time.  Trucks are the rule, rather than the exception, often slathered with bumper stickers stating “I Just Got a Gun for My Wife: Best Trade I Ever Made!” or “My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Student.”

Macho is definitely an In Thing in the rural area surrounding my ‘hood.  But this was the first time I’d seen it taken to this level…

Yes, that’s correct. This particular owner felt his truck required a swinging set of balls.

So, okay… this brings up a quirk I did NOT discuss during the Quirky Blog Chain last week.

When I’m driving behind a large truck or van, I get the sensation that I’m part of an elephant caravan.

The rear view of a semi looks vaguely like an elephant’s backside to me:

I know no one else has this problem but me, but there’s just no help for it.  That’s what I see (Please excuse the crudity of this model; I didn’t have time to build it to scale or to paint it):

For the record…

I do NOT need any attachments on trucks to make them look MORE like a giant animal in front of me.

And I do NOT need to wonder what, exactly elephant balls would look like anyway.

I’m just sayin’.