Tell Rudolph That Dolly’s Coming Back…

Don’t get me wrong… I love me some children’s Christmas classics.

I love Heat Miser and Snow Miser, Charlie Brown’s sad little Christmas tree, and Cookie Monster’s thwarted attempts to tell Santa what he wants.

I love Nestor the Donkey, the Grinchy grin, and every single act in the Frogtown Hollow Talent Contest.

I even love Rudolph, but it’s a troubled love. This particular claymation special brings up several issues for discussion:

First, why is everyone so darned crabby at the North Pole? Donner is downright hostile at the birth of his son.  The head elf is no Miss Congeniality either. And what’s with the anti-Santa?

Santa, as we know from Mr. Moore (or whomever) is a “right jolly old elf.” So why is the Santa in Rudolph such a heartless jerk?  Is it because of his eating disorder?

He’s constantly snapping at Mrs. Claus and the elves, who are nothing but nice to him. He’s just as bigoted as “all of the other reindeer” regarding Rudolph.  And he’s completely self-absorbed– he’s not worried that several of his reindeer are lost in the wilderness with a storm coming and a vicious monster on the loose, but he’s very, very worried about how he’s going to get around without Donner.

Really? And this is the guy who’s supposed to be judging who’s been naughty or nice?

How does Santa put on weight so quickly? Mrs. Claus is practically shoveling food into his mouth for months and yet “a few days before Christmas” when Rudolph comes home, Santa is still rail-thin. So how is he “fat Santa” by Christmas Eve?

And another thing that has bothered me since I was little… what is supposed to be wrong with the doll on the Island of Misfit Toys? There’s no apparent reason for her to be an outcast. Unless the creators were hinting she’s a cross-dresser, or she’s meant to be psychologically scarred or something, why is she a “misfit”?

I actually googled to see if anyone else knew what the dealio was. They don’t. It’s a universal mystery.

However, there is one thing I feel compelled to clarify. Several folks have publicly rebuked Santa for having sent these toys to the Island of Misfits. Although Santa is a grade-A self-important bozo as evidenced above, he did no such thing.

King Moonracer brought these toys to the island because they were unwanted by the children they belonged to.  I don’t think you can even blame Santa (or his poor unappreciated elves) for bad craftsmanship, as it has never been postulated that Santa’s workshop produces every toy ever made.

Santa is only brought into the whole situation since the King believes Santa could find suitable homes for the toys.

You might wonder, then, why King Moonracer doesn’t give Santa a jingle himself and ask. Or you know, stop by his workshop on one of the flights to pick up misfit toys.

Well, obviously Santa’s reputation as a creep is well-known throughout the frozen tundra. Would YOU want to ask that dude for a favor?

Even if you were an intimidating flying lion king, I bet you’d think twice about it.

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7 Responses

  1. I have not actually ever seen the Misfit Toys. This must be what has kept me from being a productive member of society so far in my life.

    However: AIN’T NO HOLE IN THE WASHTUB!!

  2. Oh my gosh, you are totally right about the doll! However, what I really want to hear more about is the Cookie Monster Christmas special – I have never heard of such a thing and my son is a HUGE Cookie Monster fan! Hmm… must now go to try and track it down on youtube. 🙂

  3. Oh… it’s the Christmas Eve on Sesame Street special. Cookie Monster’s difficulty in contacting Santa (due to his eating the pencil & paper, telephone, and typewriter in turn) is a subplot. 😉

  4. ………………………….
    This post is pure genius!!!!

  5. OMG! ROFL!

    I grew up loving the “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” special. I never paid attention to the grouchy, bigoted Santa until my husband, who lived under a rock until college, pointed it out the first time he saw it.

    My red-headed daughter almost developed a complex over the misfit doll because she thought the doll’s red hair made her unwanted.

    We worked around it by telling her the doll was a misfit because she was fashion-challenged. No one in their right mind would wear that dress with those shoes. 🙂

    Great post!

  6. I’m just gonna jump in here and mention that I come from a country where many of the Christmas stories and tales have drifted in on the wind that is globalisation. People here don’t really celebrate christmas the American/european way, but even with our own stories we seem not to think much of the stories, why they are told the way they are and how they can affect the babies who hear them. http://www.jmaruru.wordpress.com, http://www.storymojaafrica.co.ke

  7. I have wondered the same things. Kudos for writing such a fantastic article.

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